Posted by Intuition Girl
There’s a song by John Mayer – “Say“, where he sends a message to those who carry themselves as though they were a “one-man army”. Sad truth is that some individuals have a tendency to walk around with a chip on their shoulders for fear of getting too close to someone, or because of feelings attached to hurtful pasts. We have all been there before at some point or another. Even Simba from the Lion King had to deal with past hurtful feelings. It was when Rafiki struck the young lion with a stick that Simba had an epiphany. He understood that the past could hurt, but because of those hurts, he learned (from them) and was able to finally move forward without carrying a grudge. Are you walking around like a one-man army? Maybe it is time to recognize what it is that life has taught you and to let go of the feelings attached to it.
It is not going to be easy. Life lessons are often challenging and difficult to overcome. It is much simpler holding onto anger, fear or sorrow because you have become comfortable with these feelings. These emotions can be easily extracted from your memory banks and reflected upon when presented with similar situations, people or events. This response is actually very natural because it is the human psychological defense mechanism. For example, you were “burned” in a previous relationship so you automatically believe that all men or women have the same motives or behaviors. Or worse, because you were in a previously destructive relationship, you continue attracting the same type of people into your inner circle because your life becomes synonymous with what you perceive to be your reality. This mentality is also why so many battered wives (or husbands) remain in harmful relationships because they do not feel worthy enough to deserve anything more positive or mutually beneficial to them. Is this you?
Steven Chbosky once said, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Truer words were never spoken. It is self-defeating to become a one-man army, and it is self-injurious to remain in a harmful relationship because you feel that this is all you know (or deserve). An alternative way to look at your relationships with others and situations is to first and foremost love yourself, and then to truly understand what it is you are seeking in relationships. Once you can look beyond your emotional attachments and realize that it is unnecessary to hold onto these negative feelings, and are willing to open yourself up to more positive streams of energy, you find that life becomes more gratifying, more joyful and more rewarding. Go ahead and give yourself permission to release the chip on your shoulder and forgive yourself for staying in negative relationships. You are a unique human being and you should honor yourself by loving you and knowing that you need and deserve better in your life to enrich your life and to empower yourself for a brighter future.
Leave a Reply